In October 2015, Dalice and I were traveling through Mexico. Dalice was 4 months pregnant. I’d talked about going the whole 9 months with no alcohol while Dalice was pregnant. But lets face it, there was no way I was going miss out on my fair share of Coronas and Tequila while in Mexico…
…The internal conversation then turned to…
…”Once we get back to Australia I’ll go alcohol free until the baby comes”… get back to Australia, “I’ll do it after Christmas and New Years”…
OK finally after a mate’s birthday party, 364 days ago as I write this, I had my last hurrah and hangover…
I never set a firm intention, had a big “REASON” or “WHY” to go alcohol free other than I wanted to at least go without for a few months prior to our daughter being born. In the past, I’d gone a month at a time, here and there, when I was fasting etc, but never much longer than 30 days since my early 20’s.
My relationship with alcohol has been varied over the years. In my teens I was an elite athlete, so I didn’t “party” as regular as some, but when I did I binged. Once I closed the door on my days as an elite athlete, I started playing Aussie Rules Footy where it was almost compulsory to “have a coupla’ beers” after every game.
There were times where alcohol had more control over me than I had over it…
Through out my mid to late 20’s, if I take an honest look in the mirror during that time, alcohol probably didn’t serve me for my highest good on a number of occasions as I spent a number of years dealing with my shadow. I made poor decisions, had shallow relationships and let my health and vitality slide to its lowest point where I was hospitalised for 7 nights with severe pneumonia.
Towards my late 20’s and early 30’s, my relationship with alcohol changed to one of more appreciation rather than mass consumption. Although there were still many times where a “big night” and the hangover to go with it would occur. I really started to appreciate pairing great wine with nice food and in particular loved the alchemy in great craft beer.
In January 2016, I was at the point where I still loved my craft beer and sharing a bottle of wine over a meal. At this stage however, I was heavily set on a path of restoring my vitality and that youthful energy I knew was still available to me.
I knew deep inside I needed to re-wire my relationship with alcohol.
I knew I had to get to the point rather Friday night rolling in and feeling “oh it’s beer o’clock”, I wanted my choices to be spontaneous, to have a drink in good company, when the situation was right. Although alcohol certainly wasn’t controlling me, I still had parts of me that would run those programs of “I really need a drink” at inappropriate times.
So how does an Aussie bloke that still loves a beer take a year off to completely “dry out”?
The first 30 days were pretty easy, I’d done it before while fasting and doing Dry July etc – piece of cake.
The next 30 days were pretty exciting as it was the lead up to my daughter being born – the most magical moment in my life to date.
After the birth was probably the first real test, this is traditionally where Aussie blokes go to the pub and “wet the head” with the boys. Whilst a part of me wanted to do that, my heart just wanted to spend every second getting to know my daughter, and that’s what I did.
I made a choice that the no alcohol challenge would continue – for 2 main reasons:
1. I’d spent a fair portion of the 2 years prior completing my coaching training and had delved deep into neuroscience. During this period I gained a deep understanding of the way we create patterns and behaviours in our lives, and that from the ages of 0-7 are critical in the way we create our model of the world.
Equipped with such knowledge, my intention was, and still is, to be the best possible human example I can be for my daughter to model from, and form her own model of the world. Given that children simply match, mirror and make their model of the world based on the influence of the ones they most spend their time around, I didn’t want to carry the energy of being drunk or hungover around her.
Many people think that young babies don’t understand when adults communicate or speak with them. This couldn’t be farther from the truth, everything they are taking in gets stored at a subconscious level. Don’t believe me? Spend some time looking into the latest neuroscience, as well as many accounts of young kids now recalling memories of events when they were infants or even in the womb…
2. The second reason to continue the challenge was not long prior to our daughter being born, Dalice and I had committed to start sharing with others all of the holistic lifestyle strategies that had enhanced our vitality. I felt a long break from alcohol was a big part of my integrity moving into this space.
Around the 60 day mark, my vitality really stated to return…
I made another choice… I’ll go 6 months and really see how my health and body responds…
After 90 days with no alcohol, all of the health strategies I’d been working on just started to flow.
…My hormones fell back into balance, my adrenals had a good rest and my liver was able to do what it is supposed to do without functioning in a stressed state…
…Weight just started to fall off me without any intense exercise…
…My mental focus and clarity improved, including less brain fog…
…My ability to drop into deeper meditative states were enhanced…
… So many other areas of my health and vitality have also since improved…
…My SLEEP is better…
…My EMOTIONS are more balanced…
…My GUT HEALTH is the best it’s been…
…My INFLAMATION is minimal
…My DIGESTION is as it should be and no gas or bloating…
…My SKIN is CLEAR and VIBRANT, and no black bags under the eyes…
…I have far LESS ACHES and PAINS lingering in my joints…
…The feelings of MENTAL and PHYSICAL lethargy turned to greater physical MOTIVATION…
… My natural ATHLETICISM and STRENGTH has started to return…
…My BANK ACCOUNT has a much better WEEKLY balance…
…there were NO waking moments the following day, feeling any shame or guilt as to what may have happened the night before…
… My relationships with my LOVED ONES are the BEST they’ve ever been…
Sure I have implemented a number of other lifestyle strategies to support vitality in all of these areas, but I had noticeable improvements in all of the above coinciding with “laying off the sauce”.
As you can follow, there was never any time frame or firm intention to this challenge, but after 6 months I decided I would commit to 12 months and see how I feel.
After 364 days alcohol free, do I feel a sense of entitlement or need for approval from others? Absolutely not! (although there were fleeting moments during the 12 months where I felt I’d have liked more acknowledgment)
Alcohol in our society…
Do I think it is right or wrong to drink alcohol? I’ve come to realize in this lifetime, everything is perfect as it is, everything is right for everyone in every moment, it’s just how we choose to learn and evolve from our decisions and experiences that shape the way we live.
Of course it’s okay to have a drink, but I question as a society, especially in Australia, how many people really are in control of their relationship with Alcohol? I love the Aussie culture and kinship associated with having a drink. I just think we need to pay a little closer attention to some of the societal issues created by the choices of some, often involving alcohol, and the impact they leave.
Judgment…
Do I sit in judgment of others over their choices with alcohol? Nope! This challenge was about my relationship with it and no one else. If anyone feels judged by my decisions, I’d suggest maybe have a look in the mirror, and ask yourself where your relationship is with alcohol? Are you being truly honest with yourself?
Do I feel judged by my friend’s and peers? I’d be lying if I didn’t feel judged at times, but I know that’s only something I created and chose to feel. There were certainly less invites to the pub and dinner parties, but I have also had a crazy schedule all year, starting a family, a business and travelling.
Did I cheat and just “have one”? There were many times I was encouraged to and felt tempted, but can say with upmost integrity I didn’t consume a drop, unless you count Kombucha… then I drank every day!
So how do I feel now a day out from 12 months?
The last couple of weeks have probably been the hardest. I had my first Christmas and New Years Eve in over 18 years without an alcoholic drink. My best mate and brother is back from the US and one of our favorite ways to spend time together is to try a few new craft beers. 40 degrees is traditionally a nice time to enjoy a cold beer too…
But… I’ve stayed strong in my self-commitment and now sit in a space of pride and contentment.
Will I have a drink again? More than likely, but I know that it is ME that CHOOSES MY relationship with alcohol.
My achievement is expressed from a humble state, gratification from others is not what I seek by sharing this. You’ll know if these words resonate with you. If they do, there’s a fair chance you’ve asked these questions of yourself and had these thoughts and feelings about your relationship with alcohol.
You’ve probably made excuses and every justification, that how often and much you drink is just fine… and that’s okay, I did too…
I feel a sense of fulfillment, that for 12 months I have been able to make MY choices count for ME in an environment with huge social influences and pressures.
- I CHOOSE my health
- I CHOOSE my vitality
- I CHOOSE how I show up in my relationships
- I CHOOSE the way I want to be seen in this world
- I CHOOSE my experiences
- I CHOOSE to be empowered in what is for my own highest good
What CHOICES are you making?
Are they TRULY for your HIGHEST GOOD?
There’s the old saying that doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of INSANITY…
How many times have you woken up with that hangover and uttered the words “I’m never drinking again” then sure enough, Friday rolls around “Oh look, Beer…”
I’ve been there plenty of times too.
Having a break for 30 days with no alcohol is pretty common these days. We have campaigns such as Dry July and OctSober etc. While this is a great start, I’d encourage people to have a crack at 90 days alcohol free if you truly want to experience change.
90 days will allow a lot more of your bodies vital systems to restore and repair stress free.
90 days will also break a good portion of the neural pathways that crave alcohol and any feelings of “needing” to have a drink.
Could you use someone to guide you through making some better choices, show you a different way, and support you in these choices?
… As a holistic lifestyle coach, I’m passionate about guiding people to see past their cultural conditioning, to evolve to greater vitality, and make better choices to serve their highest good.
Click the link below and choose a time for your FREE 15 Minute consultation. We can have a chat about the choices you are making and see if working together is a good fit.
Take Care
Mark